Kipling once said that words are the most powerful drug known to man, and he wasn’t far off. The words we use, especially during significant life events like childbirth, can profoundly shape our experiences.
Think about it. Have you ever had someone ask you a question that made you feel suddenly old or insignificant? Like when a friend asks, “Oh, do you still ski?” or someone inquires, “Do you work, or are you just a housewife?” These seemingly innocent questions can pack quite a punch, revealing underlying assumptions and potentially making us feel small or defensive.
Now, let’s bring this into the birthing room. Imagine you’re in labour, and someone asks, “Are you in pain?” Suddenly, you might start noticing discomfort you weren’t aware of before. Your jaw might tighten, your forehead might crease. But what if instead, they asked, “Are you comfortable?” You might find your shoulders relaxing, tension easing away. That’s the power of language in action.
This is why in hypnobirthing, we pay close attention to the words we use. We prefer ‘surge’ or ‘wave’ instead of ‘contraction’. We talk about ‘sensations’ rather than ‘pain’. These aren’t just semantic games – they’re tools to help you approach birth with confidence and calm.
Let me share a story that illustrates this perfectly. A mother once wrote to me, panicked after a midwife told her that her baby was in the “wrong position” and that she would have a “long and painful labour”. These words sent her into a spiral of worry. But ten days later, she had a beautiful birth experience, with her baby turning at the last minute and a relatively short labour of seven hours.
This story shows how careless words can cause harm, and how thoughtful language can make a positive difference. It’s why we encourage birth partners to be guardians of the birthing space, ensuring that the language used supports and empowers the birthing mother.
Remember, these changes in language might feel a bit awkward at first, but give it time. Soon, it’ll feel natural, and you’ll see how these small shifts can make a big difference in your birth experience.
If you’re interested in learning more about how language can transform your birth experience, I’d love to chat. Let’s explore how we can use the power of words to create a positive, empowering birth journey for you.
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✉️ helloabiantochow@gmail.com
Wishing you a beautiful birth experience,
Aby